May the force be with us

Kid1 officially entered her teens at 7.22am this morning. Unofficially she’s been there for about 18 months.

She is a loving, nurturing soul with an intelligent and humourous mind. All small children (and our dog) are besotted with her, and the adults in the family enjoy her wit, her generosity and responsible take on life.

The devil inside is saved for her immediate family. In the build up to becoming a teen we have started to see the not so pleasant hormonal side. Lordy, help us now! At Christmas time, holidays away were distinctly tainted by sullenness, monosyllabic responses and a general resentment that lasted three days. I was ready to pay for additional accommodation to house her separately.

It worries that this is only the beginning. And if I’m having some wee concerns, MotH is having kittens! There have already been the a number of head banging sessions, as neither the father nor the daughter will back down. My hostage negotiation skills are becoming mightily refined.

I look around, and while I do know a number to lovely teenagers, I have also met those from the dark side. A girlfriend has endured a horrendous couple of years with her teenage twins, now 17, involving drinking, absconding in the middle of the night, shop-lifting, breaking and entering (admittedly in the family’s holiday home- but the police were called out), and running away. My girlfriend is lovely, and I cannot believe the parents are always to blame. I have known my girlfriend since she was 15, and there is a far amount of karma in her daughters’ behaviour. However, their’s is a hard working middle class family, with the children in private schools, etc. etc.

I’m just not so sure how far the good parenting goes when the force is not with you. So, with light sabre in hand and the Wookie (MotH) behind me, we shall brave the fight with dark side.


4 thoughts on “May the force be with us

  1. My advice (as a former crazy teenager) would be to treat her with compassion. Those hormones play ultimate havoc with some of us soooo badly that it can take years to emerge. And problems with MotH just make things worse. I fought with my Dad for ten years and ended up in a lot of therapy before I could even speak to him again. Seriously, treat her gently.

    • Yes, I get this. My twin was also a wild teen, as was I in some ways – though my lack of sullenness and resentment meant I stayed under the radar in comparison. I have found that the book Princess Bitchface Syndrome is extremely useful, and have highlighted parts for my partner, as he will end up wearing the brunt of it. The main thing I think is important is – do not react! Stay calm and leave issues til a time when all can use normal tone voices.

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