As mentioned in a previous post, my life has been chaos – most recently due to illness. It has been chaos in my worklife for some time now, as the role I have been in for almost three years has met its expiry date.
The short story is that the role I am currently in is and always has been a temporary position, with a fixed term contract that has been renewed annually for the last two years. At this point in time, the responsibilities that I cover are to be rolled into a more permanent office.
This means change for me. I never wanted the position I have as a permanent lodging, preferring to meet new challenges rather than settled down. The role was a secondment from my original POW, but the issue now is defining what I do next, as this secondment came from another secondment and previous to that I was acting higher duties.
So what comes next? I am currently negotiating at MPOW where I fit in, but personally it has made me question my career path. I suppose this is my time for a middle-life crisis, to question what is important and what is it that I am getting out of my work. As a starting point, I thought I would invest some time re-establishing my acquaintance with myself, to re-assess what turns me on and what turns me off. A few colleagues bumped me online personal assessment tools, of which I have played with a few, while others have recommended books.
One book I’ve been flicking through is ‘What color is your parachute‘ by Dick Bolles, which introduced the question – what will your work footprint be? That is, what do you want left behind when your journey ends? The book outlines 9 outcomes, most of which I immediately discarded. Surprisingly after some thought, I identified mostly with ‘the will or conscience’: I want there to be more morality, more justice, more righteousness and more honesty. A big part of what drives me is doing things the ‘right’ way, the ‘fair’ way. I am very offended when someone questions my process as I always work hard towards ensuring there has been a transparent process, and therefore the means to the end result is spotlessly unsoiled.
Which in turn probably makes be boring as hell, anal, judgmental and generally unlikeable. I think it’s time to stop looking inwards. I’m not too sure I like what I see 🙂